{"id":117,"date":"2007-04-21T02:15:14","date_gmt":"2007-04-20T18:15:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thereforeiam.wordpress.com\/2007\/04\/21\/cats-and-dogs\/"},"modified":"2007-04-21T02:15:14","modified_gmt":"2007-04-20T18:15:14","slug":"cats-and-dogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/2007\/04\/cats-and-dogs\/","title":{"rendered":"Cats and Dogs"},"content":{"rendered":"

Saw this over at Fark.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary<\/em><\/p>\n

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
\n9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
\n9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
\n10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
\n12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
\n1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
\n3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
\n5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
\n7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
\n8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
\n11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!<\/em><\/p>\n

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary<\/em><\/p>\n

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
\nlittle dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
\nother inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
\nI make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
\neat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that
\nkeeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I
\nonce again vomit on the carpet.<\/em><\/p>\n

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
\nfeet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
\nclearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
\ncondescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I
\nam….Bastards!<\/em><\/p>\n

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
\nplaced in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
\nI could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
\nconfinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this
\nmeans, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful
\nin an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
\nfeet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the
\ntop of the stairs.<\/em><\/p>\n

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
\nThe dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems
\nto be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird
\nhas got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
\nregularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
\narranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
\nFor now…<\/em><\/p>\n

Not in a mood to blog lately, with all the exams and stuff coming. But just thought that this ‘extract’ (whatever you call it…) is interesting, especially for a pet owner.<\/p>\n

I’ll be back blogging after my exams =P<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saw this over at Fark.com Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am… Continue Reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1T66h-1T","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brainfart.sg\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}